Why is that we as mothers are always dying for some time away but the minute we get that moment we are in tears or feeling guilty about not being with our kids? I used to love a night out. I would get dolled up and walk out the door without a care in the world. Since having my tiny little tyrant, and my clingy second daughter, a night out always sounds amazing, although the struggle to find the time to get ready is always there and to be honest I’d trade it for a nice quiet evening at home in my favorite mom sweats. But I do crave an occasional night out. And since quiet nights in are few and far between with a rambunctious toddler and chatty runaway crawler on the loose, I occasionally take up an offer of an adult night out. Now when I close the door to my car I sit in silence for a couple minutes just to soak it in and frequently drive in silence for a while. Once i have fulfilled my need of quiet the guilt starts to hit me like a big ole bag of Diaper Genie waste. Am I leaving them too much? Am I going to miss a monumental moment with my baby? Is my husband going to feed my toddler something other than chips? Is my mom brushing their teeth every night? (her answer was no BTW…). There seems to be no winning in this. And for my big 30th birthday this month we planned a grand trip to Las Vegas to celebrate in style, and KID FREE. This is the first time we have left my little girls behind, besides the 2 nights in the hospital when I had my youngest. I was so excited to relax and have some adult fun but at the same time I could feel the tears flowing already. I know myself, that I have been at my wits end with my children and will just break down after they go nap or down for the night, it’s a lot being a mother! These break downs are our bodies and minds telling us “hey, it’s time to do something for you, step away, focus on you for a little while”. It’s such an important message. Burn out is real not just in your career but as a parent.
What we mothers need to remember is that taking time for yourself or even time away gives you the chance to rest and rejuvenate yourself so that you’re in a better place mentally and even physically when you return to your children. Self care is so important as parents and a huge reason to not feel guilt when taking personal time. It’s so important to do this as a couple sometimes to reaffirm your relationship. I’m the first to admit my husband gets on my nerves more than my kids sometimes and acts like a bigger toddler than my actual toddler so these moments to just be adults and have intimate conversations and laugh together like the old days gives some spark back to your marriage.
I tried to remember this as we went on our grand adventure. While I did manage to enjoy myself while not having to discuss Peppa Pig or the Minions everyday, I did feel guilty occasionally, especially the first day. But my kids on the other hand barely noticed we were gone and enjoyed the time with my parents. My husband and I had an amazing time experiencing new foods, great shows, and awesome night life together for his first trip to Sin City.
As I sit on the plane ride home I can barely hold back my smile in anticipation of seeing my sweet girls! But I know by Friday I’ll be ready for another vacation! Motherhood is definitely a trip (see what I did there?!)