Motherhood can lead to selflessness, it is easy to get carried away with raising your children and as a result loosing yourself along the way. I know what it’s like to have a newborn or multiple children, you want to be the best mother you can so you devote every waking and sometimes even sleeping moments to your babies. I know how hard it is to put down the toys and walk away sometimes. As much as I know these things and believe it’s a natural part of being a mother, I am telling you it is not healthy. You need to be able to be a human being as much as you are a “mother-being”. That constant awareness you need to have with your kids needs to be relinquished once in a while to someone else so you can focus on yourself and what you’re needing in that moment. Self awareness is just as important as the awareness you give your babies.
Unfortunately, it took me two years to figure this out. And in those two years of loosing me I also lost my self confidence and suffered from anxiety and depression. So what can be done to prevent this from spiraling out of control? Stay in touch with you by trying these things:
Ask for help– I know some of you seasoned mothers are rolling your eyes but EVERY mother needs help sometimes. Whether that be a shoulder to lean on or someone coming in and taking the children off your hands for a couple hours. We are not made to be superheroes who do it all, even though we often do. Put down the cape every once in a while and ask for some help.
Enjoy a cup of coffee– I know mornings are a bit frenzied. But by waking up even half an hour before your children you can have some time to yourself and relax with a cup of coffee to start your day out better.
Work out– It is more important than ever to take care of yourself. I know it can seem counterintuitive but it actually ends up giving you more energy as you get used to it. And the extra energy will not only help you survive the day but help you keep up with your little ones. No time? There are several routines that take just minutes a day. Such as #lucyssquad (@Lucy Wyndham-Read on YouTube)
My favorites take 4 minutes each body zone! Work on what you want. I sometimes do workouts alongside my kids so they see the importance of exercise and get involved the best they can.
Plan date nights– I know finding child care can be hard and expensive but even a once a month date will lift your spirits and make you feel like a woman again and not just mommy.
Make plans with your mom besties!– Leave dad at home to watch the kids once a month for a night out with your girls! Have a glass of wine, eat in peace, enjoy a bathroom break alone, it will be like a vacation!
Get a massage! – Oh my lanta is this important! Being a mother is tense and can cause headaches and tense muscles, avoid the long term damage and enjoy an hour of being pampered. You’ll feel relaxed and happy so you feel like you can survive at least another week of your screaming, teething, questioning kids.
Not everything involves leaving the kids– plan a fun outing for the whole family. It may end up being exhausting but the memories and smiles on your kids faces will make it worth it! Make sure to snap some photos!
In my experience these things helped build back my self-confidence and energy. I feel like a new mom when I practice what I preach. Doing the best for yourself is what’s best for your children. Seeing a happy, confident mother allows them to become happy confident children!