The pacifier debate is always a big one within mommy circles. We chose to go with one to help Audrey soothe herself. She was a very colicky baby and it seemed to be one of the only things that would some what keep her calm, atleast for a few moments at a time. She has pretty much had it available to her since birth but really started “needing” it/using it around 9 months, this was the time we transitioned her into her own room. The plan has always been to begin fading it out come Audrey’s second birthday.
This was an occasion I was dreading.
As the months grew closer I could feel a giant lump forming in my throat every time I’d see the attachment she had with her “mammon”. Starting about April of this year, when I’d go to get Audrey out of the crib and we would do our usual morning routine, saying goodbye to her dolly and other friends and then lastly her “mammon”, I began to notice small little bite marks on the ends of the nipple. I didn’t think much of it and just assumed it wouldn’t go any farther then her biting down occasionally.
As the mornings went on I noticed the marks getting worse. From then on I would examine her pacifier each morning, and within a weeks time she had begun tearing off the nipples halfway.
WAS THIS NORMAL? HOW DO I MAKE HER STOP? WHAT IF SHE SWALLOWS THE CHEWED OFF PORTION!?!
As the weeks went on it got so bad we were throwing out Pacifiers every morning. I was constantly in the baby asile at Target or HEB getting more stock.
Finally it was a couple weeks till Audrey’s second birthday and enough was enough. We had just bought two new packs and I know we had a stash in a diaper bag of 2 safeties (we were always on high alert.)
So it began.
Every morning I would go and get Audrey out of her crib and see the mangled pacifier, then I began to stop hiding the transfer to the trash can and made it a point to show her.
“Look Audrey, you broke your mammon so we have to throw it away, bye bye mammon..”
Shed wave bye and we’d go about our day…until nap time…
OHHHH, THE SCREAMING, I CAN STILL HEAR THE SCREECHING SCRAPING MY BLEEDING EAR DRUMS.
She cried “mammon!” At the top of her lungs for literally an hour in between sobbing and then preceded to throw things over the side of her crib for the next half hour. She passed out, I’m sure, out of pure anger and frustration. 20 Minutes later she was at it again crying about her lost friend. This was a long nap time, I a different form, and an even longer evening. When bed time hit I was in no mood to be up for another scream-a-thon so we gave her a pacifier and called it a night.
It was weak on my end and had we just sucked it up she probably would have been over it in 2 days but we mommies sometimes have the most difficult time hearing our babies cry and just want to give them anything so they’ll be happy.
Over the next week I let her keep her pacifier and would just replace the ripped up ones every morning, until finally the week before her birthday we were down to 2 pacifiers…it honestly felt like a horror film when I went down stairs looking for more and found nothing but our safety set of two. I remember clinching them and breathing out and rolling my eyes. I shouldn’t be this scared of this inevitable milestone! But I was! The day came, as I knew it would, she tore her second to last pacifier (it took a few days this time). I did the new routine and we said by and then at nap time she asked for it and I said no, sorry Audrey, it’s broken. And put her down, gave her a kiss and left the room. She cried for another hour but I swore that nighttime I would not waiver, and I didn’t. She cried for about 45 minutes and passed out. She woke up about 2AM crying “mammon!” but eventually fell back asleep.
The next morning I felt so bad I was expecting her to hate me but when I went to get her it was the usual happy toddler excited to start her day with her mommy!
This same routine took place for about 3 days and on the 4th day she asked for her Pacifier as usual during nap and when I said no she just went to sleep! I felt like a miracle had taken place! I thought we’d never get rid of that thing! I thought she’d be walking across stage, accepting her diploma, with it in her mouth!
Now I have waiverd since then!
The day of her birthday party she was having a really rough afternoon and I didn’t want to fight with her to get her to nap nor did I want her in a bad mood for her party in a few hours so I gave her last remaining pacifier to her. The moment I did it a sigh of regret left me.
“WHAT DID I JUST DO!? WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO START ALL OVER!”
but that night she went to sleep like normal without it and has been without it since. She will on occasion ask for “mammon” but I just remind her that it’s broken and has gone bye-bye and she seems to gather herself pretty well.
It’s a sad moment now, I feel like she’s not any bit of a baby anymore, and she was so attached to it as if it was her friend. But I feel like it was the right time and she did amazingly with the transition, I am so impressed with her more and more every day.
She will forever be my baby.