As I sit down and finally take a breath, I immediately pull out my phone to go over my social media sites. I began reflecting on my morning and thought I would share with my fellow blogger friends and mommies!
I woke up late again, a new norm, due to Zoey’s nightly, every two hours, alarm clock. I rushed around to get Zoey ready so I could drop her off at her great-grandma’s.
I slap some concealer and lipstick on so I don’t look as dead as I feel.
I stare into my closet full of clothes and waste a good 5 minutes just daydreaming, before I once again realize I am in a rush! I throw the first thing I see on.
Ok time to get Audrey…oh wait I have to let the dogs out…I start heading towards the stairs and remember Zoey’s bag is missing formula. I fill up her container and rush to let the dogs in.
It is now 9:20
Oh crap, Audrey is going to ask for milk, as I open the fridge door my inner dialogue is berating me for not preparing the night before.
I race up the stairs, attempting to catch my breath as I reach for Audrey’s bedroom door, “I should really work out, this is ridiculous”.
I turn on her lights and see her still sleeping. She usually jumps right up when she hears me turning the handle. She must be very tired. I feel bad but I wake her and am irritated that she is stretching and doing a normal wake up routine. I fight my irritation and ask her how she slept as I scoop her up and begin to get her dressed in her dance clothes. She is talking to me, more or less, about her dinosaur (a new favorite), and I smile and feel my heart racing and my anxiety rising, ” I hate being late” keeps flashing in my mind.
Race down the stairs, Audrey is still babbling 100 words per minute.
I whisk Zoey into my arms, grab the bags, keys and Audrey’s hand and we head out the door. Getting them into the car and their seats is an event in itself.
After dropping Zoey off, the phone maps says I’m 2 minutes behind. “Crap”. I can shave off two minutes.
The music is going, Audrey is singing(the last words of every line) and smiling. I proceed to drive. Checking the time every other minute. Audrey is still talking and asking me some questions. “Uh huh” “yes” “in a little bit”, are my immediate responses.
A light at the end of the tunnel! We will be right on time according to the ETA of my phone! I hit a red light, at the last light before the dance school.
Park. Zoom into the building. Change shoes. Walk her into class. Breathe.
I sit here reading these memories back and am sad. I didn’t enjoy this morning with Audrey one bit. Dance days for us are a bonding time, I feel like, I get her ready and we talk about how her teachers are nice and how she’s excited and sing in the car TOGETHER. This morning I took that away.
I go back through our coversation and how excited she was! She loves dance class. That’s why I do this. She has grown so much from day 1(she cried the entire time and wouldn’t leave the instructors arms) she loves interacting with other kids and learning! This day makes her feel so special I can see it on her face when she’s in the class and when she talks about it after and with her excitement before.
Even though I hate the rush, and the anxiety and irritation it brings, I do this for her.
I promise myself I’ll get better at timing and I’ll get up early. But I know that’s not always realistic with an infant.
I think it is important to realize as moms that it’ll be ok! That the rush is worth it sometimes to see that smile on your child’s face! But also remember to slow down and enjoy those moments and conversations with your children. They are precious and fleeting.
I’m excited to here about her class and enjoy the ride home talking and singing along with my girl.